Shake and Bake....(a cautionary tale)

    SHAKE AND BAKE
    (a cautionary tale)

    (clapping, shouting, whistling, dogs barking and drum roll…..)

    Good evening folks, welcome to our brand new reality series.  For the first time in your neighborhood we have our very own show.

    Yes folks-introducing 'Shake and Bake'.

    We are filled to the tonsils with singing, foot sore and overindulged in dancing and lets face over done with cooking.  So we have put then all together. We are introducing some totally new contestants, spicing things up with a little mortal danger and offering a once in a lifetime prize package.

    May name is Dr J and I will be your host for the evening.  Please welcome our lovely assistants for the evening Stacey, Vanessa and Kylie.

    Please give them a big round of applause  (clapping, shouting, whistling, dogs barking and drum roll…..)

    Now the rules of  'Shake and Bake' are simple each of our contestants will be allowed to eat a specially formulated food made to a  proven recipe that will tantalize the taste buds of any slug or snail.  Now folks an important warning here.  Do not try this at home. It may look green and environmentally friendly  but it could be very dangerous if this food gets into the wrong mouth.  We have qualified animal health professionals should anything happen on our show.

    Now after eating the food each contestant will be judged by our team with 3 scores.
    The contestant that shakes the most, has the highest temperature as judged by a rectal thermometer and requires the most sedative will be declared the winner.
    And ladies and gentleman what a prize we have for the winner.  The winner gets to pay the most to their local animal health centre - The Barkes Corner Vet Hospital.

    Now folks let me introduce our contestants.
    Please give them a big round of applause  (clapping, shouting, whistling, dogs barking and drum roll…..)

    Our first contestant is Barry Beagle.  Now Barry is a handsome 2 year old male with a reputation for adventure.  Welcome Barry.

    Our second contestant is Harry Huntaway, a beautiful 18 month black girl with a passion for mischief. Welcome Harriet.

    Our third contestant is Larry Labrador, at 8 years old Larry just loves his food and without a doubt Larry is going to be one of the favourites.

    Our final contestant is Sally Springer, a colourful 4 year old.  What she lacks in intelligence she makes up for with enthusiasm.

    Please give all our contestants a warm welcome to  'Shake and Bake' and remember on our show there are no losers everybody gets to pay……..

    Please folks whether you have just bought it or just used it put SLUGBAIT away and use pet safe dispensers in the garden.
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